Just Me...

What do you think of when you think of your purpose? Do you think of it in terms of what you want to do or what makes you happy?  Or, do you think of it in terms of God's purpose for your life.  His vision uniquely created just for you? Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version (NIV)* 11  For I know the plans  I have for you,” declares the  Lord , “plans to prosper  you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Time and time again, I go on a "search" cycle for my vision...what am I to do next...what is wrong about what I am doing that I want to change into something that is "righter" (yes, not a word, but funny just the same).  This morning I realized that I am looking at this the wrong way.  My vision doesn't matter at all.  It is God's vision that is most important.  Instead of looking for books and articles that will help me explore my future, I am going to let God tell me what he has planned for me....

Have you heard of Inductive Bible Study?  I first heard about it in a group I am in for clergy spouses.   Inductive Bible Study is an "investigative approach to the Bible using three basic components:  Observation, Interpretation and Application" ( http://precept.org/know-gods-word ) I was seeking a new way to study The Word that would bring me some further insight into the Bible itself v. just reading a story.  I had tried several times over the year to read the bible cover to cover.  I have several One Year Bibles and so many "plans" it is obnoxious.  The latest I ever got was to Psalms.  Recently I realized that there were so many things I had read in the Old Testament but because I start at Genesis every time, I never got to Proverbs, the Prophets or anything in the New Testament.  And, although I have done studies that cover these areas of the Bible, I just didn't have anything really in depth. This was troubling to me....

Some things are the same...some things are drastically different. Some days I roll with the punches and embrace the new....some days I feel like a fish out of water. Some times I am confident...some times I am unsure if I have what it takes. Some moments are all talk and no action...some moments are all action and not talk. I try to think things through without getting overwhelmed.  I work to remember that God has this and that He has big plans for me that involve this path.  That He will equip the called and that I don't have to know everything to step ahead to the next stone in the path of life.  I get attacked by the enemy... a lot!!  I see victory in this because it means that when I am doing things they are things that God has planned.  But it hurts...it is hard...some days I just fall short and succumb to the unfortunate nagging of the devil himself.  I rebuke him...cry out to God to put up a shield... I must remain strong even when I don'...

A month ago I lost my father.  He battled a long time with a terrible disease called Multiple System Atrophy (MSA).  The loss has been hard even though I know that he is in Heaven and is no longer in pain.  Somehow, even knowing that he is no longer in pain and is with our Jesus in heaven, there is nothing that can prepare anyone for the individual experience of being left behind. The other day I was having one of the down moments of the ups and downs I experience daily now as I work through the grieving process.  All I could think of was the part in Top Gun where Maverick is distraught after Goose dies.  All I can remember thinking is that I am desperate to get to the point in the movie where "Maverick is re-engaging...". I am praying to re-engage....I have had some moments where I am firing on all cylinders, and then I hit a backfire.  I run out of energy.  I lose focus.  Nothing is important. I guess even at the point where Maverick re-en...

I recently read a blog post.  I think it was by Laura Vanderkam but I am not sure.  In it she was suggesting a book called Playing Big (I am reading now and am fascinated by it).  In addition to the book she talked about an exercise of doing a list of 100 Dreams.  I took her up on the challenge. I was hard. Harder than I thought. I mean really, 100 things doesn't seem that much, but when you are trying to think of things you haven't done that you want to do, it can get a bit tougher.  I got through about 30 before I really had to think, but I re-read this list today.  A month later, a crazy month at that, and I just marveled about the things that I put in there.  Things that are fun and totally achievable.  Things that make me smile. I suggest to anyone to make a list of 100 Dreams.  Write it out, refer to it when you need a smile or motivation and work to cross those babies off! (I am working on one just now...Write at least one bl...

How do you control that feeling when you feel like you want to control something that is not in your control? Wow.  That is a loaded question when I read it written out like that.  I think that the key differentiation lies in the action around the word "control". I know I can't control everything.  Primarily because that is not my God given purpose, but also because I shouldn't.  I have lived 38 years of experiences that are my own only.  I have expertise in some areas, I know enough to be dangerous in others and I am flat our ignorant on all the rest.  Me controlling everything would create too many problems and I would probably explode with anxiety resulting over what actions I did or did not take attempting to control things. Controlling everything is not an option. What can I control?  Well, really the only thing I can control when it comes down to it is myself.  My actions and emotions are mine alone.  My actions and emotions are...

We all need a creative outlet.  Something, or in some cases a few things, that allow us to separate from the day to day of our job and even parenting or connect with our own creative nature.  Even if you are tasked to be creative for work or if you are creative as a homeschooling parent, there is still a need for a creative outlet. Creative outlets can come in many forms.  They may be quickly accessed and only take a few minutes to tap into, or they may be planned longer term and take time away to fully experience.  I think that there is a need for both.  Some examples of my creative outlets are: When I have 5 minutes - I keep a coloring book and colored pencils at my desk at work and take it out sometimes when I have hit a block and need a quick escape into something totally unrelated to anything. When I need an hour - Every 2 weeks, a group of co-workers and I meet in a conference room to knit or crochet for charity or personal projects.  Sometimes...

I have read a lot of great books recently.  Bittersweet Surrender by Diann Hunt was good, but not great.  I was looking for a light plot and that is just what I got.  The story is of a woman who owns a Chocolate Spa and her struggle to get healthy and find love after a previous failed romance and a battle with breast cancer. It was a quick read with a basic romance plot line.  I enjoy books that look into the lives of multiple characters.  I enjoyed this book, but I felt that I read through it just to read through it, not so much like I couldn't put it down.  I found myself from the beginning predicting what would happen next and not being very surprised when that very thing happened. There were also a few references to a few different places that seemed inconsistent so perhaps there was some additional edits that needed to be done.  I was not unhappy with this book, it was the perfect medicine to feed my need for a light, quick read.  If you...

Update time! 60 Days ago I posted that I hadn't had coffee in 3 days.  I was excited to be alive.  Fast forward, still no coffee and I feel wonderful.  I completed the 24 day challenge feeling awesome.  I have so much more energy, my emotions are more under control and I am focused.  For the past 2 weeks I have been using an energy focused vitamin pack instead of just the general wellness pack and that has improved things even more.  I am down 2% body fat and the weight is ticking off.   I am fitting in clothes I haven't fit into (comfortably) for ages and I just feel more confident.  I smile more and believe I am generally a happier person to be around.  I have noticed that my family and my co-workers are appreciating these changes in focus.  At home, our house is becoming more orderly, we are having fun family game nights and I don't feel so guilty when I take a minute to relax.  At work I have been selected to apply fo...

As you know, I have started a track to a healthy life with Nuvita a few months back and now I am working through the 24 Day Challenge with Advocare.  My husband just finished the first part of the challenge, the cleanse phase, and lost 9lbs. Now I am on day 3.  I haven't had coffee in 3 days...I am alive! I am not planning to cover all of the details of everything I eat/take during this time, but I will say that it is pretty basic nutritional stuff.  The Cleanse focuses on detoxifying your body so that it can absorb and efficiently use the vitamins and minerals in our multivitamins and in the healthy foods we eat.  The only real restrictions in this phase are no dairy, wheat, alcohol and fried foods (duh!).  The phase promotes eating and I am enjoying all of the fruits and veggies that I am having daily plus the nuts and craisins that I have in the afternoon.  I have started working out daily.  My schedule isn't too complicated.  I have a ...

If you have seen The Lion King, you will get this, if not...well go watch it (even if you don't have kids or if they are grown...it is a great show!). Simba has been through a tough road realizing who he is supposed to be and denying it time after time.  When he finally overcomes his enemies and dedicates himself to repairing the damage to his kingdom, wise old Rafiki says "It is time..." Time for what?  How does this story make sense in my life?  I have toyed around back and forth for quite some time on why I need to incorporate exercise and healthy eating in my life.  For the most part I do ok...I maintain and do just enough not ot have to buy bigger clothes or feel like a huge blob at the end of the day, but that is not enough. For one, God gave me this body to do great things and doing "just enough" isn't going to cut it.  Secondly, when I am working to stay in shape and consistently eat healthy I just feel better.  I have more energy, better re...

The last two weeks have been a scheduling chaos.  With school ending, Memorial Day weekend and Jeremy being out of town, let's just say that my eating routine has gone a little haywire.  What perplexes me is that for the past two weigh-ins I have lost 1lb each week. When I first started Weight Watchers, one of the articles that was recommended talked about changing up what you eat every so often.  It talked about how your body gets used to digesting the same foods at the same time of the day so a "dietary confusion" of sorts can help your body kick start metabolism and move off a plateau.  I didn't feel like I was reaching a plateau, but I definitely added some "dietary confusion" into my daily eating.  They say the same for exercise, that "muscle confusion" can help kick start your body into shape more effectively as using different muscles, or even the same muscles in a different way helps to enhance the results of exercise.  This is the corn...

So, I am in week 8 of Weight Watchers.  I am loving the discipline that I have developed toward food. I am eating so many more fresh fruits and vegetables.  I have a pretty standard point value pattern throughout the day and have made some go to low point snacks when I "need" food.  I have been working to plan more of my family's dinners and trying some new recipies.  The kids have not complained once about any of the new foods.  They are usually not too picky, but when food looks different than something that they have seen before, they usually clam up.  This is slowly going away as they accept that they usually enjoy whatever I put on their plate and I won't intentionally give them something to eat that I don't think they will like.  They are even learning that if there is a part of the meal that they don't like (for example, mushrooms in the pasta) they just put them to the side and enjoy the rest. All this to say is that I think that I am well ...

A few weeks back I took the plunge and started Weight Watchers again.   I have tried this a couple of times successfully in the past and it was time to take the bull by the horns again to get back on track.  The first time I did weight watchers, I was about the weight I am now and I wanted to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I did well with this and then about a year later I got pregnant with my second.  The second time I did weight watchers, I had more to lose.  I lost 25lbs and felt great.  I was on a roll at my previous job and working out was a part of a regular habit of life so I maintained well.  In the Fall of 2010, I changed jobs...that wrecked any exercise and eating habit that I had formed.  My location changes, I was trying to make new friends and impress those at my new job.  I lost track! At first I gained only about 5 lbs and I thought, I can live with this.  I'll get back those 5lbs when I get a bit more ...

I am reading a book right now that I would highly recommend by Andy Andrews.  It is called " The Noticer "...I just finished his book " The Travelers Gift " a week or so ago and would highly recommend it too.  The premise of The Noticer is Perspective.  There are many lessons to glean from the book, but the overall theme is that no matter what the situation, if you take a minute and look at the situation with perspective, your attitude is bound to change.  This got me to thinking that not all perspective is good.  We must seek God to give us the perspective He wants for us, not the perspective we want for ourselves.  We all want an outcome, we all need God's outcome.  Sometimes my perspective doesn't line up, but I get the outcome I want...well, what I think I want anyway.  I was reminded of this when listening to a Joyce Meyer podcast this morning on my drive in.  It was her podcast from Tuesday of this week (I am a bit behind :))... ...

Today I had a big presentation for work scheduled for about 2pm.  The time was an estimate as I was part of the agenda for a weekly 3 hr meeting of our Senior Leadership team.  I wasn't really stressed about the presentation, but I knew I needed the right words and content for the message to be received as it needed to be.  Coming into the meeting I knew that a couple of people were not going to be there that I felt should hear the presentation and that I was 4th out of 5 agenda items.  I knew that whenever my turn came, that there would have been 3 major discussions prior to mine and so short, sweet and impactful were words in my mind. I shot out a quick prayer request to a prayer group I am in on Facebook and quickly felt the relief from prayers being said.  Just knowing that others were asking God to bless me with the right words was soothing to my nerves.  The meeting began at noon and at 1pm, my boss popped in to my workstation and said that they w...

I like to switch things up every 30 days or so.  I had a challenge that I started with Walk Away The Pounds in February and merged into March.  I have been dabbling around for a couple of weeks now with Yoga and other things to keep exercise a part of my schedule, but, for me, having a calendar is a must!  I just don't stay on track without one. Last week a friend of mine of Facebook posted a link to a beginner running program from Women's Health Magazine.  I really never saw myself running again, but like my previous post, I should learn to "never say never"... The workout is a 6 week plan that moves from walking with short 1 min intervals of running to running 30 min straight.  There are 2 things that I really like about this program.  First, it incorporates 2 days of strength training with exercises I can do right at home.  Second, it only works up to 30 min of running.  One of the mistakes I think I made before when I was running w...

A few years ago, we got a treadmill...I said I only wanted to use it for walking...I would "never" be a runner..2 half marathons and several 5ks later... Last summer, I said, I am hanging up my running shoes, I have this leg pain and I am going to just be a walker again,  I "never" want to run another race, just focus on walking...yesterday I downloaded a new workout schedule to get to 30 min running over the next 6 weeks (starting this on Monday) Since my Sophomore year in college when I said I would "never" be able to tolerate teaching other peoples' children, I have maintained that I wouldn't...until yesterday when I put my name in the pot to start teaching in Children's Ministry at our Church... After thinking about this for a while I discovered, that if I just put it out there that I will "never" do something and God really wants me to do it, I will eventually do it.  I think that saying Never is a throwdown  to God in a wa...

This morning, getting out of bed was a bit rough...not so much physically, but mentally.  I woke up and convinced myself that I just needed to stay under the covers all day... I had to really work to determine what would motivate me in getting out of bed (after all, I did have 2 kids to get up, dressed and to school on time...) Here is a glimpse of the converstation I had with myself: Maybe I will get up and get the kids ready and take them to school and then come back home and sleep the day away...I could use a mental health day... No, I am doing this Leslie Sansone challenge, I have to at least get up and do the 2 miles I had planned...or, I could do the 2 miles after I take the kids to school and come back and sleep some more... No, I am going to just get up and do the 2 miles now...all dressed, maybe I could just wear this all day and lounge around the house, no workout needed, I think I have a sore throat anyway....Kelli has had a runny nose, maybe I am getting what ...

I have never really "given up" anything for Lent before.  Last year, I tried to do this 40 Bags in 40 Days thing and I did really well for about a week and then...well, off the path I went :) Earlier this year I saw a post on Facebook from a friend who was going to do a 40 Days of Water project during the Lenten season.  Essentially participants would drink nothing but water each day of lent except Sundays when they could have whatever they wanted to drink.  I seriously thought about participating in this...a lot...I told people I was thinking about doing it...I contemplated how my body would react based on the fact that I really drink so little water each day and not having caffeine has potential side-affects on my family and friends :).  I really thought about it...my son even reminded me this past weekend about it asking when I was only going to be allowed to drink water.  I thought about it, but decided, no. I am not going to participate and here is why....