Skip to main content

Controlling the Uncontrollable

How do you control that feeling when you feel like you want to control something that is not in your control?

Wow.  That is a loaded question when I read it written out like that.  I think that the key differentiation lies in the action around the word "control".

I know I can't control everything.  Primarily because that is not my God given purpose, but also because I shouldn't.  I have lived 38 years of experiences that are my own only.  I have expertise in some areas, I know enough to be dangerous in others and I am flat our ignorant on all the rest.  Me controlling everything would create too many problems and I would probably explode with anxiety resulting over what actions I did or did not take attempting to control things.

Controlling everything is not an option.

What can I control?  Well, really the only thing I can control when it comes down to it is myself.  My actions and emotions are mine alone.  My actions and emotions are impacted by others and experiences.  I seek to be guided by God.  He gave me free will to own my actions and emotions.  His teachings guide my decisions and create a foundation of morals and beliefs that make me who I am.

I am enough for me to control.

There are 168 hours in a week and every one of those (with the exception of when I am sleeping) gives me an opportunity to decide my action and emotions.  Wasting time in the wilderness of worry was a big time suck in my past and I have since improved greatly; however, sometimes the question that I first posed above taunts me and I find it hard to return to center.

Eventually to answer that question takes defining what it is that is causing me to be in the wilderness of worry and to lay out some choices.  How do I weed out the choices?  I first ask which ones require work by others to play out and throw those out or add actions that I can take to help (talking to someone, asking them to help, etc.).  Ultimately the choices have to consist of my next action, not someone else's.  Secondly, I think through the results of taking that action or proceeding with that emotional decision and determine that some are not workable or desirable to solving the problem (not just a band-aid) and throw them out.  Third, I take the top choices and ask what is the worst that could happen and ultimately make a choice from there.

Sometimes the best choice is to take a minute, take a deep breath (the action), smile (another action), write down my feelings on scrap paper and rip them up to say goodbye to them (the action mixes with emotion) and decide right then and there that I am going to be thankful and grateful (two awesome emotions) for the ability to even have a decision and make the choice to move forward in service to the world eager to help and use the gifts and talents that I have been given to make a difference for someone else.

It is not really about me anyway.  It really isn't even about the other person in the end either.  At the end of the day it is about serving others through the love and grace of Jesus Christ and that makes me smile.

Ashli

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Who are your soulmates?

Thanks to Liz at Eternal Lizdom for providing though provoking questions in her weekly Wednesday writings... This week...Who are your soulmates? When I think of soulmates I think of people who no matter time or space between interactions, there is that connection that says, I know and trust this person and he/she knows and trusts me. There are no gray areas in our friendship and no matter what, this person and I will love and trust each other. A tall order? Maybe. Impossible? Not when God is involved. The most important element to a soulmate relationship is that God is involved in putting the two people together. Who are MY soulmates? I have friends and family who I consider soulmates. First, my mom. She and I have not only a biological connection, but also a connection based on love. We are honest and open with each other and not afraid to call the other one out if either of us tries to move into the gray area. We sometimes also connect our thoughts before we even get the opportunity...

Week 1 .. Done!

I can't believe that Wednesday marks the beginning of week 2 already.  I feel like I was just telling Liz that I had this idea for a running challenge and shabang...here we are starting week 2!  And people are doing it with me! I logged 10.5 miles in Week 1 (starting off a little ahead never hurts :)).  Overall I felt good about getting the miles in, but I am having a pain in my knee when I run longer than 3 minutes at a time so I am doing mostly intervals.  I think it is my IT Band...I know this is pretty common, but it stinks to have pain.  Anyone have any good suggestions for IT Band therapy.  I have heard of using a foam roller, but have no idea how to use one or even what to buy...suggestions?? Liz has also given me a great idea to do a badge or something to mark progress on this quest.  I am thinking of something, but haven't had much time to devote to it.  I like the idea...what about anyone else doing this journey with...

I am going to do what?!?

In the past 5 years I can be quoted as saying: "I am NOT a runner" "I HATE to sweat" "I will NEVER run" "I was a swimmer, I never ran growing up, I am sure that is why my joints just won't work for running." Let me warn you now, when you hear yourself things like this, just pretend it its "opposite day" because the likelihood of those proclamations holding true is pretty much non-existent. This past year, I have found myself running 2 5k events, run/walking a half marathon, finding a running training plan to work on speed of all things.  I really can't believe how much I actually look forward to working out...and how much my day changes when I don't. On days I work out, I am happier, have more energy, feel better rested, am a better parent and wife and have a desire to live out God's will for my life. When I don't work out...well, let's just say it is not pretty.  Nothing is on time, I am short fused...